Tempered
Originally published February 2006
Am remarkably angry, right now. Have been for the best part of the last 12 hours or so. Barely slept. Will probably be for the next few hours also maybe, until I deal with some real people who are not being prissy and ridiculous. That just spoils the whole thing.
I am going to have to deal with this. Fortunately, it hasn’t been bad. It is not the ferocious temper that can make me destroy things or bleed myself. But it is bad. And the worst thing is the realisation, that I have now become transparent. Even a layman can tell me that I am angry. And that actually happened.
Why am I so angry?
Because, I cannot tolerate being made to wait while people galavant off doing whatever they like. And also do not inform me about it. Happened last year at Chaos. Was extremely cranky then also. In addition, I was made to feel guilty about my anger. As though I was holding some other people back. That just added to the anger. But I handled it pretty well. The situation is not half as bad here. But it is.
It is not like I have a problem with my temper. But I know that when I am angry, I can be very dangerous. If I am glad that I do not loose my temper easily, I am only so scared that when I do, it is going to be bad.
Will now go get on with my project work.
Current Mood — Guess???
Something I realised -
Life is the balance between the trivialities of existence and the profundity of possibilities.
The world be damned.