Trial by Hire
Originally published June 2016
He shuffled in his seat to catch a break. Every so often he would notice that he was fidgeting. He would stop. He could not keep a thought in his head. How was he going to get through this?
“How much?” said the voice in his head.
“How much do you expect?” said the voice across the table.
A few years ago he had an answer to that question. “I don’t know”. That was his first interview, and the last one before this. He was still in his last year at University then.
“Anything you pay me” would have been honest but immature. “A lot” was the true answer. Uncertainty is the mother of the vague.
This time around though there wasn’t room for doubt. What kind of man does not have a measure of his own worth? He bounced between a few numbers in his thoughts. Was he worth as much as he was paid at his last job? Then why did they let him go? Maybe he should just stick to the facts. Tell them how much he made and then put the ball in their court. It would be risky. But at least it would put him out of his present dilemma. He could always refuse.
He was fidgeting again. He stopped. He looked up across the desk. He puckered up and decided to go for the moon.
“I guess a 30% hike would make it interesting for me”
It was like he had pulled a rabbit out of thin air. He could have sworn he heard that on a television show. He couldn’t tell. Those weren’t his words.
There was a smile from across the table. An awkward smile from the valley of the uncomfortable.
Had he overstepped?
The hand from across the table scribbled something. He tried to read it. He was expecting “greedy”. The hand turned the paper to him. The voice from across the table said “We’ll give you a 50% up”.
“Why?” the voice in his head almost escaped his lips.
“Interesting!” he translated his thoughts to the head across table.
Up until this moment, he hadn’t made much of his chances. He had botched every challenge thrown at him. He did not find their jokes funny. He had none of the expertise that they wanted. An hour ago, he was wondering which company he’d look at next.
“We’ll match your compensation, and give you 20% as yearly bonus. Another 30% as stock. We want you to be comfortable and part of our amazing journey”. The lines seemed rehearsed. The table seemed to yawn. The room seemed to yawn. He was now utterly confused. He would have to evaluate the unknown.
Would this firm last a year? What was the stock of a 6 month old company with no revenue and 200 employees worth?
“You are joining us at an exciting time” The voice across the room seemed to have remembered something it forgot. He was silent. The room was silent. He felt a breath held in anticipation. He suddenly noticed that he wasn’t fidgeting. Perhaps he should.
“Let us know if our offer isn’t good enough. We are open minded.”
60 minutes spread across 2 interviews. Fishing for an hour and cold feet when the bait had been bitten.
“Yes, I’ll take it”. Whatever it was. His words split open the silence. Out poured frenetic hand shakes and more awkward smiles. He briefly glimpsed a strange confusing uncertain future. But the premonition sadly passed.
He was onboard.
He was now part of the start-up.